This parenting gig is a rocky road. It is. Truly. Why they haven’t come up with a manual yet, is anyone’s guess.
I have four completely different children. Yes – they were made from EXACTLY the same ‘stuff’, but they differ in every way. This means I need to be four parents in one, because I just CANNOT parent them all the same way. That certainly wasn’t in the brochure!
Exactly six years ago, I posted a eulogy that I had written for Mum. It popped up today in my ‘Facebook memories’, and this particular quote jumped out at me:
Thank-you for showing me both how to be a mother and how not to be a mother – it will make me the best I can be; and remind me to love with ALL my heart and show my love with all my being ALL the time
I feel lately, that there have been times when I am clearly demonstrating how NOT to be a mother (#unwashedbedsheetsforalongtime #spectacularyellingovernothing #forgettingwhentheylastshowered). Maybe it’s due to tiredness. Or just lack of patience. Or, something. Who knows. I figure though, if #unwashedbedsheetsforalongtime is the worst thing I do, then so be it.
The #motherguilt syndrome is running high at present. It’s no secret I have been absent a fair bit this year, physically on placement, and mentally whilst studying. The Murph is really feeling it. My strong, stoic Murph is sad. Doesn’t want me to leave. Likes me to just ‘be there’ in the morning. “Do you have to go away again Mama” through tear-stained little cheeks. Oh my heartstrings.
Yes – I know – I am not a bad mother, not for studying, not for unwashed bedsheets, or forgetting when they last showered. Certainly not for the occasional spectacular yelling fest. But golly gosh – the #motherguilt. It whacks you in the stomach and wenches itself around. Ugh.
They are all fed, vaguely clean, well-behaved, well-mannered, clothed, warm and loved. The basic parenting necessities, regardless of the child. Thankfully I mostly have this part of parenting nailed!
The quote above reminded me that being a PARENT is really about BEING THERE. Providing the basic parenting necessities, means that all else will fall into place. Loving with all my heart, and showing my love with all my being.
And #motherguilt will subside.
What are YOUR basic parenting necessities?