new digs // #theclarksgetnewdigs

Hold onto your hats folks – WE ARE GETTING NEW DIGS!

OKAY – I wrote this 2 years ago – on April 2nd 2015 (and never published it – that’s how I roll – lots of writing, no publishing!)




Ten long long years ago, we moved into our dream home a shack falling down around our ears.  Wilbur said (and I quote), “no worries baby, I’ll have it fixed up in no time”.

Ten years later, four babies lanky, loud girls, two dogs, chooks, guinea pigs and umpteen vagrant mice and spiders, we. Are. Still. Here. (I may or may not be gritting my teeth).

Imagine if you will (close your eyes and picture this scene)…..

5:00am – one husband out of bed readying for work ‘quietly’, 5:15am – four children migrate into the vacant space left by husband. 6:00am – ever-patient Mama wearily extricates herself from tangled web of limbs in order to beat the morning rush to the toilet. (one toilet + 6 people = you do the math). 6:02 – all children up and clutching their “nether regions”, BUSTING for the toilet. Luckily Mama is quick on the loo! …..

Need I say more.

EIGHT squares of living space + six people + one toilet = another math problem that can go horribly wrong!

The house is held up by one pole.

In winter, it’s important to arrange oneself to avoid the drafts cyclonic wind flowing howling through the house.

Cooking vessels make fabulous rain catchers below the leaky roof.

If one powerfarts in one room, it can be smelled in every other.

Sneaking a chocolate-y treat is a stealth-like operation, involving much coughing and rustling.

The only place to get peace and quiet is on the toilet – and even then, every other member of the house must be ‘not at home’.

It’s ‘standing room only’ when we have guests around for dinner.

Yes.  We have learnt to love each other.  The girls appreciate each other.

We are done.

We need space or Mama may just about blow her top.

It’s didn’t happen.

ONE day it WILL happen.

There will be a few toilets, no easy mouse access, and space. Until then – we will snuggle in our somewhat cosy home and lament what was….

I am pretty sure that if we and when we ever #getnewdigs, once the novelty wears off, all the girls will be clamouring to be on top of each other again….. and in our bed!

I have no photos of the actualy house – coz quite frankly – it’s a bit dumpy, and a little embarrassing…….

Ugh – you know what- I just went and took one. There is NO best angle. #keepingitreal


See the pole at the front – that’s the ONE pole that I fear is holding up the house!

It might look dodgy – but it’s filled with love, laughter, legs and a noisy happy family!

Follow our crazy squashed up fun on the blog, as the #clarksgetnewdigs, on instagram or Facebook!

#notetoself – put lock on toilet door…..

Is anyone else still waiting for #newdigs?

What is the toilet:person ratio in your house?


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